Thursday, February 26, 2009

Reasons behind 101 in 1001 days

So i've set forth to do a lot of things in this blog (Cleaning for a whole week documented, Sonoma Diet, Weight Watchers, etc) and i haven't followed through with any of them...but that's going to change.

As some of you know i'm pretty open and what i'm about to tell you a lot of you experience and others don't believe it really exist or you just might not understand it. Well here is it. I have depression. Clinically Severe depression... well that's what i was diagnosed with back in college. Since then i've been on and off various medicines that have worked and haven't worked. Everyone is different in how depression effects them and why it does but here's my story.

All the women in my mom's side of the family suffer from this... i've been told it's just a chemical imbalance in us... caused by nothing and nothing and cure it... just treat it. With me personally i get tired physically and emotionally. I loose interest in things I love and I can't really think clearly. I become very forgetful and often just don't care. I wake up every morning (doesn't matter how long i slept) not seeing the point of getting out of bed (even though i have a job and dogs that need me). I get irritated at silly things only to realize that later it was silly. etc, etc, etc

I'm telling you this because i'm going through this again because i got cocky a while ago and went off my medicine thinking i would be fine... i wasn't... i got back on it on a very low dosage and that's not helping me so i'm going to see my doctor today to get it all fixed... or as i like to call it... Get my HAPPY pills.

Some of you might judge me from this, not understand me... but i'm writing this in hopes it might help someone. So many people are in denial that depression is only if something bad happens to you, or you're weird etc if you have it... but with me it's nothing i can change or fix... it's my chemicals... it's in my genetics. So if you think this could be you, talk to someone b/c there is help... and it's hurting more then yourself.

With this being said... Since i'm going in for my "tune up" i want to also start off on a fresh page... so i'm doing 101 in 1001 days! How fun is that!
It's going to get me on track and keep me there and help me do all the things i've been wanting to do. Don't worry this is still my food blog but i will be updating the next post (my list) often with pictures, updates, etc on how i'm doing... and this all begins March 1st!

1 comment:

Kristi said...

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I know that it must take courage to put it all our there. May the Lord guide and bless you as you strive to find happy in your life.